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NHLSarok, a hockey blog based in Slovakia, has posted three videos on YouTube from the now-legendary women's ice hockey Olympic qualifier that saw Slovakia squeak out an 82-0 victory over Bulgaria. (With an enormous thanks to our friends at The Two-Line Pass for the tip.)

The box score (.pdf) chronicled the carnage; seeing these videos provides some valuable (and painful) context for this embarrassment. Eighty-two goals seem a little more reasonable when you witness Bulgaria's defensive system; which involves either skating with beer league-level velocity, or standing around picking daisies while Slovakia shoots at a goalie with the reflexes of a corpse.

Again, we hate to kick a national women's ice hockey team when it's down, but we'd love to set up a series of match races between the Bulgarian players and the Mites on Ice that skate between periods of NHL games. We can even set the whole thing to reggae music, just like they do for the kids.

Video No. 1 begins with the score tied 0-0, which incidentally was the last time anyone associated with Bulgarian women's ice hockey felt an emotion with a tangential resemblance to hope.

The second video skips all the way to 77-0, at which point Bulgaria has decided to reject the concept of goaltending and play with six skaters -- a wise decision, as pulling the goalie has fueled many a rally. Although not many that would require a goal every five seconds.

Video No. 3 features -- we kid you not -- a Bertuzzi-like attack from behind from a Slovakian player (!) against a foe from Bulgaria during a stoppage in play. Slovakia's Anna Dzurnakova was given a misconduct and a match penalty for the roughing from behind, and what passes for a women's hockey brawl followed. The clip ends with the scoreboard infamously reading: 82-0.

Great finds, but there's gotta be so much more out there. We'll not feel complete until we see the 70-or-so goals that have yet to be posted. There could be some Ovechkin-quality stuff there. Or maybe we're just sadists.

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56 Comments

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  1. Leahy
    1. Posted by Leahy Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:27 pm EDT

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    i had no idea ice hockey arena scoreboards even went up to 82...
  2. btothek
    2. Posted by btothek Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:13 pm EDT

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    Forget the hockey on-ice.. that PA announcer had the game of his life.
    And the audio guy? His decision to play We Will Rock You at the 5 minute mark, with the game 7-0, was nothing short of magnificent. I'm sure the 37 spectators in attendance were really pumped!
    I hope rising star Janka Culikova made sure to pick up the game puck
  3. Tardell Scorpion
    3. Posted by Tardell Scorpion Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:47 pm EDT

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    hahahahah thats the best video of all-time. the positioning is mindblowing and so is the skating. its like a level Z beer league for girls.
  4. shadfax
    4. Posted by shadfax Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:15 pm EDT

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    Jesus I just watched the video and I never saw the puck in slovakia's end. Someone teach them to ice the puck!
  5. Southpaw
    5. Posted by Southpaw Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:34 pm EDT

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    I really hope they weren't playing "We Will Rock You" for Bulgaria.
  6. Jimmy Jazz
    6. Posted by Jimmy Jazz Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:06 pm EDT

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    Ah, that's fantastic. I think the worst part is that the Slovak women don't exactly look like the most dynamic skaters.
  7. Hank
    7. Posted by Hank Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:23 pm EDT

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    i like the fact that the refs were getting more physical than anyone else in that wannabe scrap. those bulgarians could barely stay on their skates. Thats one of the most pathetic things ive seen in quite some time
  8. ScottyWazz
    8. Posted by ScottyWazz Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:22 pm EDT

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    Oh, well you see what happened-- Bulgaria didn't stick to their puck possession game plan. Now, had they been able to do that-- I think it would have only gotten to 64-0.
  9. Whale4ever
    9. Posted by Whale4ever Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:59 pm EDT

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    Hypnotic.
    You can't write this stuff.
  10. Stanley R
    10. Posted by Stanley R Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:39 pm EDT

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    Just sad. No?
  11. Stanley R
    11. Posted by Stanley R Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:39 pm EDT

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    very sad. no?
  12. Bill C
    12. Posted by Bill C Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:24 pm EDT

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    After this game, they should bring Slovakia back to reality and give them a game against Canada. Let's see how happy they are with the outcome of that game! Canada rules
  13. Stanley R
    13. Posted by Stanley R Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:39 pm EDT

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    where was the republican nominee for vice preesident when bulgaria needed her? very sad, indeed.
  14. Asiea
    14. Posted by Asiea Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:52 pm EDT

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    pfff... women sports are just SO exciting!?!?!?! ... Unless its beach volleyball! YAY.
  15. Doss
    15. Posted by Doss Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:36 pm EDT

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    I think that they might have been better off with a cardboard cut out of Patrick Roy in net and or passably the actors from D2 Might Ducks...............wow I just said that. Sorry to all who just took the time to read this.
  16. formor2153
    16. Posted by formor2153 Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:01 pm EDT

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    i think a pee wee team could be both these teams
  17. Z squared
    17. Posted by Z squared Thu Sep 03, 2009 7:19 pm EDT

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    my eyes might be deceiving me, but did the bulgarian goalie actually make a pretty good save at the 1:50 mark of the first video or did the shooter just miss the net?
  18. Brandon F
    18. Posted by Brandon F Thu Sep 03, 2009 3:10 pm EDT

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    Thank you for this post. The writing and the videos are both hilarious.
  19. Russell D
    19. Posted by Russell D Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:57 pm EDT

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    I never thought it was possible to score 82 goals in a 60-minute game...until now.
  20. Wyshynski
    20. Posted by Wyshynski Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:21 pm EDT

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    @ Z squared --
    I have to admit it was jarring every time I saw that goalie actually make a stop. Because she did make more than a few.
  21. styles
    21. Posted by styles Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:57 pm EDT

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    She made 57 saves!!! How was she not the first star of the game? Oh wait... never mind.
  22. JoshBatelli
    22. Posted by JoshBatelli Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:34 pm EDT

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    and the crowd goes wild.
  23. gold_fish323
    23. Posted by gold_fish323 Thu Sep 03, 2009 4:11 pm EDT

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    is it even possible for any team to be that bad? not to mention that there was no physicality at all...it makes you appreciate the hard hitting awesomeness of the nhl, flawed though it may be.
  24. Nexus
    24. Posted by Nexus Thu Sep 03, 2009 10:30 pm EDT

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    What is the point of Bulgaria even icing a team? It is obvious that many of the girls just recently learned how to stand up on skates. Putting them out there against people who have actually played hockey on a regular basis is a joke.
  25. Hector T
    25. Posted by Hector T Thu Sep 03, 2009 8:48 pm EDT

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    i think they were better off without the goalie in net

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