We do have some fantastic NFL-themed photos from last night's event, though, and it would be unfair to deprive you of them as well as Skeets' NBA-themed pics.

Hey there, sailor. Brady Quinn came straight to the ESPYs from his meeting at the local yacht club. It's just one of the many maritime activities enjoyed by Brady (warning: adult-themed picture at that link).

That's Terrell Owens with Kate Walsh, who is a pretty lady. Owens was very upset to learn later in the evening that Rajon Rondo stole his jacket.

She has nothing to do with the NFL, but that's Adriana Lima. Goodness gracious.

I don't know how to describe this look from Braylon Edwards. It's the undone-bowtie after party look, except it's on the pre-game red carpet, and it appears to be made of diamonds. This is not a look that I could pull off.

Justin Timberlake relives his last moment in the sporting spotlight. Justin, I don't know if you're going to continue that sort of behavior at the ESPYs, but if you are, could you please go find Adriana Lima? Thank you.

Baby blue sweater = Instant respect and credibility.

"Hey Brett. People getting sick of your act, too? I feel you."

For no particular reason ... Alan Thicke.

I'd like to think that Braylon Edwards and Antonio Cromartie heard yesterday about the NFL's new attempt to police gang signs being used by players, and one of them said, "Hey, let's just do random things with our hands and see if the commissioner tries to fine us."

And perhaps the happiest [player in the field] was Rodgers, who was introduced at the first tee on Sunday as a "Green Bay Packers quarterback." Rodgers corrected the announcer, "Starting quarterback."

I think this could turn into the most entertaining subplot in this whole ordeal; Aaron Rodgers trying and failing to keep his anger bottled up. It's not the first time he's let a little bit of it slip. A couple of weeks ago, he said that fans needed to get on board the Rodgers Express or shut their mouths. I don't know if he'll ever get to the point where his real feelings come out, but one senses that he gets closer and closer every day.

Kudos to Deuce of Davenport for digging up this beauty. And kudos to Paul Hornung for being an outspoken proponent of not only sex, but violence.

But this time, he's content to let you pick the bad idea he has permanently emblazoned into his skin ... for just $200 per square inch.

He says he'll get anything done, too. He doesn't even ask to reserve the right to reject anything he doesn't like.

"I am probably the first person in the world to do this. It's a one-time fee and you get a lifetime advertisement," said Thompson.

Thompson said he isn't going to use discretion no matter what business approaches him as long as it is a paying customer.

When asked if he would be embarrassed to advertise for certain companies or products, he responded by saying nothing is out of bounds.

"I don't care ... tattoos are my life I guess. I'd put a hotdog on my forehead as long as its under the helmet (tattoo)," said Thompson, a regular at Laconia's House of Tattoos on Union Avenue.

I'd like to get a picture of Sharon Shenocca french-kissing the Patriots logo on the side of his head. How much for that, Victor?

Actually, the guy's not selling off his head. It's saved for the more noble purpose of having his dome turned into an exact replica of the Patriots helmet. Seriously. His wife had to talk him out of having the facemask tattooed on his grill.

Hopefully, this decision leads to him being able to keep the mustache, which, for better or worse, has immediately become the best decision this man has ever made about his personal appearance.

Make your investment here.

Gracias, Deadspin.

But we'll start with Darrell Bevell, a friend of Favre's, a former coach of Favre's and currently the offensive coordinator of the Minnesota Vikings. He's at the center of the tampering allegations that the Packers have filed against the Vikings.

Meanwhile, ESPN.com has confirmed that the Packers have filed tampering charges with the NFL against the Minnesota Vikings, alleging "inappropriate dialogue" with offensive coordinator Darrell Bevell, a close friend of Favre's and a former Packers assistant.

The Vikings, according to a source, are expected to contend Bevell may have had conversations with Favre as a friend but had no involvement in discussing a job with the Vikings.

It's only tampering if Bevell talked with Favre about potentially playing for the Vikings. Even though Bevell is employed by the Vikings, it's perfectly legal for he and Favre to talk about anything else, like beard stubble that always seems to be the same length, Wrangler jeans, or what it might be like to re-enact the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp with John Madden.

It's hard to envision the existence of any conclusive proof that Favre and his pal Bevell talked about putting #4 in a purple uniform. It's a fun little twist in the story, but I don't see anything real coming of it.

On to another Favre friend, James Campen, who probably isn't a Favre friend anymore. Campen is the Packers offensive line coach, and Favre, during an unaired portion of his interview with Greta van Susteren, said that Campen told him something interesting.

"He says, 'You know, I know they told you they're moving on and playing there's not an option," Favre said, according to a full transcript of the interview obtained by the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. "Playing here in Green Bay is not an option, which that's what they want. They want to move on. But I'm telling you, if you reinstate or you force their hand, back them in a corner, they feel like they have no other option, they're going to accept you back.'

"And he said, 'Just telling you.' And I said, 'OK.'"

If Campen did say that, I'm sure he really appreciates Brett Favre passing it along to his ladyfriend Greta on FOX News. That could cost Campen his job, couldn't it? At the very least, it has to earn him the scorn of a lot of higher-ups in the Packers organization.

That's not a very friendly thing for Favre to do. Essentially, he just sold out a friend because he wants to win the PR battle against the Packers. "Sorry, friend, some people out there don't like me anymore, so I'm going to paint you as someone eager to betray his employer. Have a nice day!"

So why not hear from Charles Barkley, too? (Note: Click the image to play the video. The video runs best in Internet Explorer)

I actually think Sir Charles has it about right. You can't begrudge a man the right to change his mind about retirement, but his decision certainly does put the Packers' and Aaron Rodgers's goodie bags pretty close the band saw.

And it doesn't hurt that everything Charles Barkley says somehow entertains the hell out of me. I think I could listen to Charles read the text of the Magna Carta, and I'd hang on every word he said.

At least for today, I've run out of things to say about Brett Favre. This looks like it's going to be a gripping, yet incredibly slow-moving situation ... the kind of thing where Favre can give a quote to Greta van Susteren, and the news will explode all over the place, even though he really didn't say anything we already didn't know.

I'm going to consider it a huge, huge upset if this situation finds a resolution before I end up hating Brett Favre.

Okay, so swimmers aren't the big, rough, burly type. They are generally thin, wear just enough spandex to cover their junk, and are shaved from head to toe. When you think "intimidation," rarely will you think "swimmer."

I have no idea how Phelps's speed in the water would translate to grass. I don't know if he can take a hit. And I have no idea what those freakish, fake-looking back muscles would do for him on the gridiron.

But I can tell you that he's 6'4", 195 pounds, one of the most gifted athletes ever born, has an ungodly work ethic, has set 25 world records, and has been able to master three different strokes, all of which use different sets of muscles, to the point where he is one of the best, if not the best, in the world.

To me, that's the biggest thing. If he's mastered the freestyle, butterfly, and backstroke, then clearly, he's the kind of guy who can set his sights on anything and be great at it.

Previously:
The Honorable Mentions
#11: Yao Ming
#10: Cristiano Ronaldo
#9: Dion Phaneuf
#8: Grady Sizemore
#7: Allen Iverson
#6: Ricky Hatton

Tuesday:
Non-NFL athlete who would excel in the NFL, #4

If you're the action figure type, though, here's one that might be a good option for the '08 season:

Brett Favre, on the bench, watching someone else play football.

Aaron Rodgers has ordered 45 of these, and he likes to set them up in his front lawn, while he runs around and performs drills in front of them, all the while screaming:

"Look at that, Brett! It's Aaron Rodgers time now! How do you like watching ME, old man?! Wooo! And Rodgers takes the snap, he drops back, evades a defender because he's young and has healthy knees, and it's a touchdown pass by Aaron Rodgers! Wooo! A touchdown, Brett, as in, not an interception! And Rodgers celebrates without the need for painkillers!"

And then he kicks the Favre figurine and yells, "Suck on that, grandpa."

But that's just him. You could use the action figure in any way you'd choose.

His name is Kevin Schmid, and he's been kind enough to share his thoughts with us.

In a month filled with bitter celebrity divorces, it's fitting that the 16-year marriage between the Green Bay Packers and Brett Favre is coming to an end. MJD has graciously allowed me to add two cents from a Packer fan's perspective.

Although Brett cried when he retired in March, I didn’t. After three years of offseason uncertainty, it was good to have closure. It felt like the right time. I didn't want him to retire off 2005’s 4-12 disaster, and I wanted him back after winning 4 straight games to close out 2006.

He rewarded us with a great year, broke all the records and took us to the NFC Championship Game. It's not quite Elway or Bettis retiring holding the Lombardi trophy, but 2007 seemed like a fitting ending to Brett's career.

But despite how good he was last year, he failed in the two biggest games of the season. He was abysmal against Dallas before he got hurt, and then he threw his patented back-breaking interception in the NFC Championship Game. Those games don't erase the terrific season, but they do make me question whether Brett is capable of winning another Super Bowl. 

I won't pretend to know whether or not Aaron Rodgers can win a Super Bowl. I won't pretend to know more about football than Ted Thompson and Mike McCarthy. After all, in 1992 I actually questioned why we would trade a first round pick for Favre when we already had Don Majkowski, Ty Detmer, and Mike Tomzcak.

Rodgers did look good in preseason and against Dallas, but he also injured himself in that game and missed the last month of the season, in stark contrast to Favre's legendary durability.

So I admit it takes some major stones to hitch your wagon to a guy with zero NFL starts and tell the guy with the most wins in NFL history to take a hike. But I am on board.

Brett wants his unconditional release, and I want to win the lottery, but neither one is likely. Thompson has never been popular, and while a 13-3 season buys a little goodwill, the sight of Favre coming into Lambeau in a purple Vikings jersey would erase that and then some. Still, if Brett wants to play, and the Packers don't want him, they should do everything possible to get him a place to play.

I'm not a "legacy" guy, so I'm not offended by the thought of Favre in another uniform. Nobody cares that Montana was a Chief, and in the long run we won't care if Favre played the last year of his career somewhere else. As long as it doesn't conflict with the Packers' interests, I could openly root for Brett on another team.

So sometime in the next two weeks, trade him to the AFC for twenty cents on the dollar and call it a day. I think the Jets would be ideal - send Favre to NY for Chad Pennington and a draft pick and everyone wins. The Jets get a QB to take them back to the playoffs, and the Packers get a veteran backup as insurance if Rodgers gets hurt.

The Ravens are another team that makes sense. Heck, even Miami could work, and it would be poetic to unite the wishy-washy retired QB with other guys who retired and came back, Ricky Williams and Bill Parcells.

The Packers are in a difficult situation, and while not a storybook ending, trading Favre to an AFC team before camp opens is the best outcome available. And, maybe the happy ending will come in the Super Bowl as Rodgers battles Favre, and this time Favre's back-breaking interception ends up in the hands of Al Harris or Charles Woodson.

I can live with that.

And that should get us one step closer to a world without Canseco. Had Jose won, we might be hearing today about what a tough guy he is, and his next big fight. But surely even Canseco has enough shame to just slink away now.

Canseco came out before the fight and made a throat-slash gesture at Sikahema. But he might as well have been pointing at his neck and chin, saying, "Hey, punch me here!" Either way, that was the highlight of Jose's evening. The gesture was followed by about a minute of merciless pounding.

"He's a very impressive-looking guy," Sikahema said. "But the guy is a walking corpse, because he's rotted inside out. He's a pathetic figure."

Well, if he wasn't before, he is now.

They won't do it because it would alienate the Favreophiles in Green Bay, but the Packers would be perfectly justified in telling Favre that they've put him in the rearview. Tell him he won't be traded, he won't be released, and if he insists on coming back, he can't do anything but hold the clipboard for Aaron Rodgers.

And whaddaya know? Favreophiles be damned, that's exactly what the Packers are doing. I'm really not patting myself on the back here, because I honestly believed my proposition to be unrealistic. I never thought they'd do it. But here we are.

“We’ve communicated that to Brett, that we have since moved forward,” [Packers general manager Ted] Thompson said Saturday, in his first public comments since Favre requested to be released this week. “At the same time, we’ve never said that there couldn’t be some role that he might play here. But I would understand his point that he would want to play.”

And while we're on the subject, I got dozens of emails about that post, about 90 percent of which accused me of hating the Packers. I trust that all of you will now email the Packers organization and complain that they also hate the Packers.

And here's another interesting little tidbit:

When asked whether that role might be as a backup or coach, Thompson said: "not a coach."

Added McCarthy: "He did ask about that, though."

Brett Favre asked about being a coach? Wait a second ... wouldn't that sort of solve everyone's problems here? Favre gets to scratch his itch in some way, the Packers get to welcome him back, they don't have to be the bad guy, and they don't have to watch him go play for Chicago or Minnesota. Doesn't that make perfect sense?

If it's true, and Favre did inquire about coaching, I don't know why they wouldn't jump on that offer in a second. Who's their current quarterbacks coach, that they wouldn't fire him for Brett Favre? Is it Jesus? Because short of that, I don't know if any position coach is that valuable to a football team.

Feel free to take this advice, too, Packers.

That day ... was not today. Thurman is currently being sought by police on a felony assault warrant for allegedly assaulting a man at a water park.

A former Cincinnati Bengals football player is sought by local law enforcement on a felonious assault warrant.

Odell L. Thurman, 24, of Cincinnati, was indicted this week by Erie County grand jurors on a felonious assault charge.

On May 27, Thurman was involved in an altercation at Kalahari Waterpark Resort, where he punched a 19-year old North Royalton man in the face, breaking his jaw, said Erie County Sheriff’s Det. Bob Lippert.

“They were both just guests at the resort,” Lippert said, adding that the argument was over a place in line.

Thurman's already missed the 2006 and 2007 seasons because of suspensions stemming from violations of the league's substance abuse and conduct policies. And back in June, he ran afoul of the league's substance abuse policy again, and was suspended indefinitely. He's not even eligible to apply for reinstatement again until after this season. It's at least going to be three consecutive years of suspension for him.

And it'll probably be longer, since he broke a dude's jaw over a place in line at the water park ... which I kind of get. I mean, who doesn't love going under a waterfall on an innertube? It's good, clean, wholesome fun. Especially when everyone acts surprised that they're getting wet.

That said, never have I ever thought to myself, "I cannot wait another 10 seconds to get on this water ride, and if anyone tries to impede my progress, I'm going to bust their face open without hesitation or mercy."

Everyone swears that Odell's a good guy who keeps putting himself in bad situations. And that might be true, and I might be pulling for him from the bottom of my heart ... but it's still hard to see a guy getting back in the league after three years off.

That information came from the same highly-placed NFL source that broke news of failed drug tests by both Miami Dolphins running back Ricky Williams and Henry to FOX 31 in the past.

Go to the emergency room, man. Pull it out, tell them it's broken, and see if they'll put it in a cast for you. It'll save you so much money and grief.

It might be too late, though. According to FOX 31 in Colorado, the positive test means that Travis Henry has earned himself a year suspension from the NFL. This doesn't have any tangible effects immediately, because Travis Henry isn't currently on a roster. The Broncos cut him because they didn't like his work ethic or his commitment.

Long term, though, it probably means that Travis Henry is done in the NFL. If the questions about his work ethic weren't enough, having to wait on a guy for a full year because he failed a peepee test ought to do the trick. At this point, I don't know if a Canadian team would even take a chance on him.

Among the topics covered are Bill Parcells and if he's as mean as he seems, fantasy football, Jason Taylor's pirouettes, and what Ricky Williams is really like.

MJD: Hey Ronnie. Thanks for taking the time, man.

Ronnie Brown: No problem.

MJD: Let me ask you for a couple predictions for this year. Number of wins for the Dolphins, and number of rushing yards for Ronnie Brown.

Ronnie Brown: For myself, I kind of stay away from that prediction stuff. But obviously, for yards at least over -- we have 16 games, 100 yards a game, give or take -- anything over 1400 would be great. As far as wins, you never know. I really can't even start to say that, especially coming off a season where you only win one game.

MJD: I'm sure you expect to win more than that this year. Is there any chance you guys will be as bad as you were last year?

Ronnie Brown: I think we've got an opportunity to be a lot better than we were last year. We've changed a lot, have a new coaching staff, coach Parcells came over, I think we have maybe 36 to 40 new guys on our roster. So I think we've got an opportunity, and we've got potential, but it's not until we've actually got an opportunity to put pads on against someone else, that's when you know where you are and what you're capable of doing.

MJD: Does Coach Parcells have a lot to do with the team's practices every day?

Ronnie Brown: Coach Sparano, I think he's making all the calls, but at the same time, as the GM, I think Coach Parcells kind of oversees everything. In their situation, I think they have a good relationship, to where they can talk about things and each have an opinion in a professional manner.

MJD: Have you talked a lot to Coach Parcells, and is he as mean as he seems?

Ronnie Brown: *laughs* Man, not at all. When I first met him, at our first encounter, I was kind of nervous about it because of how he's portrayed, as far as being one of those mean guys. But actually, he's a straight up guy, and I think that's what gets misconstrued a little bit, as far as being one of those guys who will tell you how he feels versus trying to sugarcoat things. I don't think you can really get that from Coach Parcells. It just depends on how you look at it, and obviously, you know what you're going to get each time, and I kind of like that.

MJD: Do people ask you a lot about fantasy football? Random people when they see you in the street?

Ronnie Brown: I've had individuals say, "I had you on my fantasy team, you got me some points," or, "You gonna be ready for the season this year, I'm thinking about drafting you in my fantasy league, how do you think you're going to do this year?"

MJD: I took you in the first round last year, and I was devastated at your injury. I'm still kind of mad at you, actually.

Ronnie Brown: *laughs* That makes two of us.

MJD: Has Jason Taylor taken any abuse from teammates about being on Dancing with the Stars?

Ronnie Brown: We joked him about it, especially his little wardrobe, and him in all these tight clothes. And the, what do you call them, pirouettes? However you say it, all those little dances he was doing, all the little arm-straightening and toe-touching types moves. We all joked him a little bit. When they had a clipping in the paper, I was gonna go cut it out and hang it in his locker.

MJD: What if they asked you to be on the show? Would you do something like that?

Ronnie Brown: I don't think they're gonna ask me. I don't think my dancing skills are up to par, especially to do some ballroom and different types of dance and all. I don't know, my partner might be disappointed.

MJD: Do you still follow Auburn football pretty closely?

Ronnie Brown: A little bit. Not so much. I'm not able to get down there, and I haven't been to a game in a couple of years, but a little bit. I still speak with our strength and conditioning coach, and I still speak with my coach.

MJD: Give me an example of some of the best trash talk you've heard on the field.

Ronnie Brown: Obviously, any time you see a clip where you've got Ray Lewis mic'd up, he's an exciting guy, not only to watch, but also to listen to. Chad Johnson's gonna give you something. Guys like that. Not only do they entertain you, which is what the game is about, but they perform at high levels, which is all you can ask for. Anytime you hear those two guys, you got a chance. And let's see, who else ... there's a few guys out there who have some good things to say.

MJD: Who's the best trash talker on the Dolphins?

Ronnie Brown: Joey Porter. Hands down.

MJD: I forgot about Joey. I wouldn't have even asked.

Ronnie Brown: *laughs*

MJD: What's Ricky like, hanging out with him off the field?

Ronnie Brown: Ricky's a cool guy. And I think people only know what they see and hear, you know what I mean? So they try to make a judgment about an individual without actually being around him and being able to form an educated opinion, it's pretty tough. But for myself, I've actually been in a situation where I've been able to spend time with Ricky, and we have a good relationship not only on the field, but also off the field. I have a lot of respect for him and the success he's had on this level, and the things he's accomplished thus far. I think that's what makes our relationship so good. We respect one another as individuals, but also as football players. He's a quiet guy, laid back, just likes to relax and doesn't really bother anyone. He's a peaceful guy. I think that's the main way I could form an opinion about him. He's a peaceful guy.

MJD: If you could have dinner with any three people, alive or dead, who would they be?

Ronnie Brown: Let's see. Um ... Michael Jordan. Him or Barry Sanders, because growing up, Barry Sanders was my guy. Muhammad Ali. And probably Martin Luther King.

MJD: You know, everyone I've asked that question to so far has had Martin Luther King in there.

Ronnie Brown: Just to be able to talk about some of the things that he went through as an individual, and the way he dealt with it. I think we all go through adversity and situations that make us uncomfortable, and to get his opinion on it, I think he'd be a great person to talk to. And then, Michael Jordan and Barry Sanders, those are guys who were athletes who were obviously at the top of their league. And Muhammad Ali, just the way that he not only entertained you, but he gave you a show. Just his whole demeanor and his confidence. To see where all that came from, I think would be exciting.

MJD: What's one thing you enjoy doing that people would be surprised to hear that a football player does?

Ronnie Brown: Well, I'm actually down here at the G2 thing, and everyone knows that G2 is a new, low-calorie hydrator from Gatorade, and with that in mind, I enjoy bowling. That's what we're doing down here. We're doing the Wii bowling thing, and this is the first time I've played the Wii, so I've got a little bit to learn. But when I'm away from football, I just like to relax. Occasionally, I'll go out with some of my old college teammates and we'll go bowling and enjoy ourselves.

MJD: Can I ask who you're voting for, for President in November?

Ronnie Brown: Probably Barack. Just on the things I've heard him say, just certain views. I've heard McCain is doing a fairly decent job lately, but just for me, that would be my opinion.

MJD: Say your house catches on fire. All your loved ones are safe, and you can go in and grab one thing, one possession. What would you grab?

Ronnie Brown: Probably all the shoes that I could grab?

MJD: You're a big shoe collector?

Ronnie Brown: Pretty much. I like tennis shoes, and I can't really think of one thing that just stands out that you might need more than any other. So that may be the one thing that just kind of sticks out.

MJD: Okay, last question for ya. If you could wake up tomorrow with one superhero power, what would you like to have?

Ronnie Brown: You know, I don't think anyone's ever said this, but the ability to not get tired. No fatigue.

MJD: Oh, man. So you wouldn't have to sleep at all? That would be awesome.

Ronnie Brown: I could just do whatever. Wouldn't have to worry about getting tired. I could run around all day, doing whatever I wanted to do.

MJD: Alright, I appreciate your time, man. Good luck with the bowling, and thanks a lot.

Ronnie Browns: Alright, thanks.

"When I was first interrogated and really had to give some information because of the physical pressures that were on me, I named the starting lineup -- defensive line -- of the Pittsburgh Steelers as my squadron-mates!"

What I like most about that story is that it's charming, it focuses on McCain's past as a war hero, and will make local people feel like McCain can relate to them and their simple-minded love of football. It's perfect! So perfect, in fact, that it seems made up!

What's that? It is made up? Oh.

From ABC's Political Punch blog:

[...]  the Steelers aren't the team whose defensive line McCain named for his Vietnamese tormentors. The Green Bay Packers are. At least according to every previous time McCain has told this story. And the McCain campaign just told ABC News that the senator made a mistake -- it was, indeed, the Packers.

Woopsie daisy.

I point this out because it's tangentially related to the NFL, and Steelers fans might find it of interest. I don't mean to imply that McCain is a liar, at least not in any way that isn't already implied by the label of "politician."

And I apologize to Packers fans if they find this news hurtful. Maybe when Wisconsin has as many electoral votes as Pennsylvania, Senator McCain will love the Packers again.

He was arrested this morning after a woman claimed she raped him (oops) he raped her.

Via TMZ:

The L.A. County D.A. says that in January, the 48-year-old owner of Zendejas Mexican Restaurant in Pomona gave a woman a drink at the popular bar which made her "groggy." They then say the victim woke up at a motel down the street and called police, saying she had been raped.

He was arrested this morning in San Dimas and is still in jail on $260k bail.

This news hasn't been picked up anywhere other than TMZ just yet, so there are no statements or denials from Zendejas out there. Innocent until proven guilty and all.

Either way, the mood will probably be somber tonight at Zendejas Mexican Restaurant & Sports Grill. Taco Thursday is ruined. The slogan on the website says, "It's Party Time, Zendejas Time," but it's probably difficult to carry that cheerful a mood into the pokey.

Big thanks to You Been Blinded.

I don't know what kind of a deal Drivers Select is offering, but I'd bet it's pretty good. They've certainly gone rock-bottom with their endorsers, so the company should be able to pass on the savings to you, the consumer.

We should all be so lucky to have friends as well-connected and giving as Deion.

Apparently, this is a service that the Washington County Sheriff's Office provides to everyone who gets arrested for possession of cocaine and marijuana.

From Jacksonville.com:

The police report said that three Fayetteville officers were walking toward an unlit parking lot when they spotted a white Toyota 4Runner parked with several people inside. The area is known for thefts and drug use, the report said.

One of the officers walked up to the passenger side rear door and saw Jones sitting inside. The report said he had in his lap a white card with a white powder and a credit card in his hand that he was using to chop up and scrape the powder.

The officer opened the door, identified himself and ordered Jones to put his hand in plain view. Jones did not initially comply and the officer pulled out his gun, keeping it at the “low ready,” the report said. Jones was then ordered out of the vehicle and complied.

[...]

Police found a corner of a plastic baggie with white powder on the floorboard where Jones was sitting, as well as the white card with powder on the seat. Police found a rolled up paper with another bag of white power on another seat. They also found a black bag with a jar containing suspected marijuana, the report said.

The report said that Jones told one of the officers that the white powder was cocaine. Six grams of the substance later tested positive for cocaine, while other tests were ordered.

Jones was booked into custody at 4:11 this morning, and for a guy who had his mugshot taken after 4 a.m., Jones looks remarkably wide awake. It's almost like he was on cocaine or something.

Jones was likely to be struggling for playing time this season, since the Jags had signed two other talented, but hugely flawed receivers in Troy Williamson and Jerry Porter. The Jags drafted Jones in the first round in 2005, and he's never caught more than 41 balls in a season.

Heath Shuler went three picks ahead of Dilfer, and, no disrespect to the Congressman from North Carolina, but Shuler made Dilfer look like Johnny Unitas. After The Dilf, no other quarterbacks were taken until the 4th round, when the Falcons took a fellow named Perry Klein out of C.W. Post. After that, there was Doug Nussmeier, Jim Miller, Gus Frerotte, Jay Walker, Steve Matthews, and Glenn Foley.

Not exactly a group of worldbeaters, but at least it's something. Dilfer had a pretty mediocre career as a starting quarterback, with a career passer rating of 70.2, but unlike those other folks, at least he kept getting jobs.

Dilfer's lasting NFL legacy will be his run with the Ravens en route to the Super Bowl XXXV victory. All along the way, other Ravens like Ray Lewis and Shannon Sharpe kept saying things like, "We don't need Trent to win this game for us, we just need him not to lose it," which I always thought was condescending. Even if it was true, that's not a nice thing to say publicly about your starting quarterback.

But Dilfer took it in stride and did his job, and I like to think he was smugly happy about the fact, after the Super Bowl, he was the one that got to say, "I'm going to Disney World!" even though he wasn't the MVP. Ray Lewis was the MVP, but for some reason, the Disney people didn't want Ray. Something about being connected to a murder a few days before the Super Bowl. I don't know.

Here's what Plax had to say on the radio, via PFT:

“It had to be tough on him personally. I didn’t call him gay or anything like that. . . . I think that’s one of the reasons why he really couldn’t become the player that he wanted to be. . . . It has to play on you mentally a little bit.”

Plax wrote about it in his book, too, co-authored by this fella. Again, via PFT:

“People were talking about [Kordell] being gay,” Burress writes in Chapter 5. “The players heard that, but we never talked about it. I don’t know if Kordell is gay or not. It was none of our business. If ever we would have talked about it, it would have made everybody uncomfortable. If some player was gay, I don’t think he could come out while he was still playing. It would be real hard. It would mess a team up mentally and it wouldn’t be good for that person.”

[...]

“He had to watch the people that he hung around with. Just hanging out with your friends, or your boys and your cousins, all those things come to the surface. I think he just insulated himself after a while.”

It's terribly sad to think that a man's career was stunted by senseless rumors that he's a homosexual. I won't act surprised, of course, as I know that the NFL isn't comprised of the most progressive thinkers in the world. But still ... it was just some random rumor, probably started by some moron fan who didn't like Kordell's completion percentage.

It would be sad enough if a guy's career was ruined because he actually was gay, but it's somehow more sickening to know that a rumor alone could do the job just as well.

I wouldn't expect a group of NFL teammates to hear that a player's gay, and react by jumping around in glee, and then arranging for that player and his life partner to be married at halftime of the next road game they play in California (although that would be awesome). But from what Plax says here, no one was even willing to talk about it. That makes me feel sad.

Of course, the blame doesn't fall only with the gay rumors, the attitude towards them, and the unwillingness to talk about it. Kordell's less-than-spectacular play, obviously, was also a factor. But maybe it was the rumors and the isolation that led to the poor play.

In 1997, Kordell was the talk of the league, and led the Steelers to the AFC Championship game. The rumors started about a year after that, and Stewart was never the same.

We're going to need someone to put us in touch with Shawne Merriman's pharmacist, ASAP.

At 5'7", his height doesn't concern me. If he's small enough to get lost behind the offensive line and then come out of nowhere and crack someone in the teeth, all the better.

But his weight's a different story. We don't need the full Merriman treatment, maybe just a couple of cycles. Hatton fights at 147, but between fights, he's been known to put on 40 or 50 pounds. That, plus a month or so on the Merriman drug regimen really should be enough to get him at an acceptable fullback weight.

I want him at fullback for two reasons:

1) His "I'll gladly ram my head into a brick wall over and over again" mentality. He doesn't care about being a star, and he doesn't need to set any touchdown records. He's as blue-collar as blue-collar gets, and there aren't many dudes on earth tougher than Ricky Hatton.

2) I want him on offense, so when he does score the odd touchdown, we'll hear this. If there's one thing NFL fans don't do enough, it's sing in unison. And I swear, that's the catchiest damn thing I've ever heard. I was 100% rooting for Floyd Mayweather during that fight, but even I couldn't stop myself from belting out, "There's only OOOOOOOONE RICKY HATTON."

What I did like was watching tight wranglers and spurs bucked and dragged, hats flung in the air (at least some of them were man enough to wear hats and not helmets) and faces stuffed in the mud. Most of all I loved a terrified little man in Tony Lamas scurrying around like a whimpering pup. Cowboy up!

What the rodeo does provide is an outstanding environment to become a belligerent fan. First of all, it may have been the only sporting event to sell beer by the six-pack ($3 a can). Secondly, I was able to holler lines from the Blue Collar Comedy tour: "Get ‘er dun, boy! Buck that sumbitch off!" Finally, I got my chance to be the fan who is better than the professional: "I could have rode those bulls in my slippers tippin' my cap to the crowd all night!"

I would highly recommend the bull riding event at a rodeo to any non-cowboy fan. The bull wins 70 percent of the time, and even when he doesn't win he strikes the fear of God into his competitors.

As the crazy rodeo fan says at the end of this video, "Let ‘er buck, that's all I figure I need!"

Chris Cooley is a Pro Bowl tight end for the Washington Redskins and blogs every Wednesday here on Shutdown Corner. Read more from Cooley on his personal blog, where he gets awesome all the time.

The Corner has been home recently to a lot of talk about a previously unimaginable change in Steelers ownership. But there are other teams out there were a change in ownership isn't unimaginable ... in fact, it's something that fans longingly daydream about every single day.

After the jump, The Corner gives you three teams who could probably benefit from an immediate change in ownership.

Oakland Raiders
Owner: Al Davis

Through most of his tenure as owner of the Raiders, Al Davis has been fantastic for his team and even better for the NFL. He's a pioneer and a legend, if not also a lightning rod for controversy. He deserves to have his bust in the Hall of Fame (and hopefully that bust will not be carved from a picture of Al Davis that would scare anyone out of ever visiting the Hall of Fame again).

But it's 2008. The Raiders have been a laughingstock for a while. Al Davis, at the age of 143, is still the big baller and shot caller through every aspect of the organization, and it hasn't been a winning strategy of late.

Upon his retirement, Warren Sapp was asked to describe his experience as a Raider:

As dark as a black hole. Stuff went on in that organization that shouldn't go on in sports. I don't think there's one person who knows who or what is making the call. Let's just say the Oakland experience is unique. The phone rings quite a bit on that sideline. Insubordination is grounds for termination in any company.

It's time to let go, Al. Let someone with a fully functioning frontal lobe run things for a while.

Cincinnati Bengals
Owner: Mike Brown

He's the only owner in the NFL who's caused the launch of a website with his name on it, which would have maybe been a good thing ... if the word "sucks" wasn't attached to the end of it.

I could make the case here for why Mike Brown should sell the Bengals, but I couldn't do it any better than the fellows at MikeBrownSucks.com. They feel pretty strongly about it:

The ownership of this organization has actively pursued a course of action which has materially indebted itself to the people of Cincinnati yet has failed to deliver a competitive product through gross incompetence at the highest levels of management. 

The ownership of this organization is causing a lack of balance in the AFC Central and the NFL as a whole.

It is, therefore, the opinion of MikeBrownSucks.com and its thousands of supporters that Commissioner Paul Tagliabue must suspend Mike Brown from the day to day operations of the Cincinnati Bengals and elect an acting General Manager in order to preserve the integrity of the game.

My favorite part of Mike Brown's ownership is how the Bengals were so bad for so long, then recently enjoyed a little short-term success, only to have that morph into an embarrassing period as the league's refuge for criminals, delinquents, and malcontents.

Detroit Lions
Owner: William Clay Ford Sr.

There aren't any rules as to how a man has to run the NFL team he owns. But if there could be just one rule, I think it should be this: You cannot hire a general manager who will fail so thoroughly at his job that legions of fans will show up to games with their heads covered in paper bags that read, "FIRE MILLEN," and then not listen to those fans.

There's no WilliamClayFordSrSucks.com website, but there is a FireMillen.com. I don't want to blame Matt Millen's failings on Ford, but at some point, you've got to cut your losses and change directions, don't you?

Millen was hired in 2001, went 26-59 in his first five years, and not only was he not fired ... he got a 5-year contract extension.

On the other hand, if Ford Sr. gave up control of the Lions, there might not be any organizations left who would hire defensive line coaches who like to wheel their SUVs through drive-thru windows while completely nude. And I think we could all agree that those guys need all the love and support they can get in this crazy world.

But, if it comes to it, and Stanley Druckenmiller does gain a controlling interest in the Steelers, it might not be the worst thing to happen to the Steelers since Cliff Stoudt was named starting quarterback. It's not like Donald Sterling is buying the Steelers or something.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette ran a very soothing profile on Druckenmiller today, and Steelers fans can take comfort in the following:

• Druckenmiller might be the only man on the planet who's worth more than $3 billion and regularly paints his face for football games

• He wore a Troy Polamalu jersey and a hard-hat to a game last year

• Will not sit in a luxury box, and prefers to be in the stands with like-minded Steelers fans

• There's no chance he'd move the Steelers out of Pittsburgh

• He'd let Dan Rooney control the team for as long as Rooney would like

• He is not related to this man.

So while it still seems shameful to think about the Steelers being owned by anyone else, it doesn't seem like they'd be falling into the hands of a big bag of warm vinegar and water, either.

I still need to hear his thoughts on Steely McBeam, though. If he doesn't adore Steely, then I don't think this man has his thumb on the pulse of the city.

I don't think that's legal. The move where you grab another guy's facemask, drag him for twenty yards, and then violently rip the helmet off his head? Yeah. You can't do that. At the very least, it's a sign of poor chinstrap craftsmanship.

Anyway, there have been enough Madden '09 materials here on The Corner, I thought it was appropriate to give another pro football game some spotlight, too. Thankfully, it doesn't look overly dramatic or over-the-top at all.

If you're not familiar with the Pro Football Prospectus, I'm not quite sure how to describe it. It's full of stats, but they're not your ordinary stats. It's full of analysis of off-season moves, draft picks, and predictions, but it's not your ordinary analysis.

You know the NFL Matchup show on ESPN, where Ron Jaworski meticulously breaks down a play and tells you what's really happening? It's kind of like that, only it's way more in-depth, available in book form, and Merril Hoge doesn't pop up on every page and insult Vince Young.

It's a giant book full of NFL truths that you really can't get anywhere else. They've spent years fine-tuning their own statistics to tell you who's really out there balling, and who's coasting by on reputation. Historically, their predictions on team performance are quite accurate, and their system for predicting college-to-pro success for quarterbacks is particularly nifty.

The book is under $15, and let's be honest: You were going to spend $15 on more useless things this week. If you have to, make it rain a little less at the strip club, skip that summer blockbuster (I recommend skipping this one in particular), or convince your wife that she doesn't really need those pre-natal vitamins. It's worth it.

Michael Vick, Aaron Brooks, and Allen Iverson all came out of the Newport News area in Virginia. You could argue that at the moment, Iverson has the best chance of any of them to be a successful NFL quarterback sometime in the future.

Iverson's size might be seen as questionable, but he's really only small by NBA standards. Stand him next to Carmelo Anthony and Marcus Camby, and he'll look short. Put some pads on him and stand him next to Champ Bailey and Rod Smith, and he'd look fine. His height is comparable to that of Joe Theismann or Fran Tarkenton, and he'd dwarf Doug Flutie or 4-time Pro Bowler Eddie LeBaron.

I file Iverson under the category of special athletes who could have been legendary at any sport they wanted. Football, basketball, soccer, hide-and-go-seek, Oreo-licking, whatever.

Brian Bosworth was motoring along on the Trans-Canada highway, when he saw a group of ambulances and a fire truck. Boz pulled over, got out of the car, and assisted rescue teams in getting a woman out of her totaled jalopy and into an ambulance.

From the Winnipeg Free Press:

The paramedics had to use the jaws of life to get the woman out. Bosworth said they dismantled the vehicle completely. He was asked to take a piece of equipment down to the paramedics and once he got down to the victim, he said it was clear they needed more manpower.

"She was in shock and in pain and we couldn't really move her. Her legs were pinned. We had to cut the steering wheel off. She was screaming every time we moved her," Bosworth said. "It took five or six guys to get her into the ambulance. "

Bo Jackson would have pulled her out of the car himself, performed emergency surgery on the spot, fixed her car, sold it for above market value, and then made sweet love to her to help heal the emotional scars.

Still, thanks for doing what you can, Boz.

A Chargers fan was enjoying a filet mignon in a Huntington Beach restaurant last Thursday night when a piece of meat got jammed in his throat, blocking the airway. To the rescue came Chiefs tight end Tony Gonzalez, who performed the Heimlich maneuver and saved the guy's life. The man now says he's a Chiefs fan.

Tony Gonzalez saves chokers. So where was he on February 3rd, when the Patriots needed him?

I kid, I kid. Of course, the important thing to note here is that Tony Gonzalez is a great guy, all-around solid citizen, and one hell of a good Samaritan. High fives and respect knuckles.

But there's another moral to the story, and that's that you should learn how to chew. It's filet mignon, it shouldn't be that difficult. Give it a few chomps with the ol' bicuspids. That way, you don't have to interrupt Tony's meal, nor do you have to bail on the Chargers in favor of a division rival because you have lazy teeth.

The Pittsburgh Steelers -- owned for 75 years by the same local family -- is secretly being shopped to potential buyers as the five sons of the football team's founder and their heirs spar over the storied franchise's future.

Steelers Chairman Dan Rooney, the eldest of the brothers, wants to consolidate his control through a 10-year plan to buy out most of their shares, but a well-funded prospective buyer has emerged after some of Mr. Rooney's brothers and their children raised questions about his offer.

Stanley Druckenmiller, billionaire chairman of Pittsburgh's Duquesne Capital Management, has expressed interest in acquiring the Steelers, people briefed on the negotiations said.

The Steelers potentially for sale? Slather me in cole slaw and call me yinzer. It doesn't even seem possible. I always just assumed that as long as human beings were drawing breath on planet Earth, someone named Rooney would own the Steelers, even if they had to pass the franchise on to the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Dan Rooney, the Steelers current chairman, seems to be the lone Rooney child trying to keep the Steelers in the family.

"I will do everything possible to work out a solution to ensure my father's legacy of keeping the Steelers in the Rooney family and in Pittsburgh for at least another 75 years," Dan Rooney said in [a] statement.

But he's got brothers and other family members working against him, seeking out other potential buyers and an independent Wall Street analysis of what the Steelers are worth.

Who are these other Rooneys? It almost seems like an 80s movie plot, where one noble-hearted brother named Dan is trying to keep the family business alive, but there's some other evil brother, a guy named Brayden Rooney, sitting in a board room, wearing a cravat and a dickie, holding a poodle in his lap, and twirling his mustache trying to scheme something up to ruin his brother's life and sink an entire town.

I just don't believe it. I refuse to acknowledge the possibility that someone not named Rooney would own the Steelers. It can't happen, and it won't happen.

Silly, too, given that the NFL wants to be counted as an exciting sport with passionate fans, and markets itself to people with functioning legs.

So here's what I propose. You take the several thousand seats in the stadium that are closest to the field, and you make them the cheapest seats in the building. You can call it the Dawg Pound, Black Hole, Correctional Facility, Drunk Tank, whatever you want.

Fans can get these tickets one of two ways:

1) Declaring on your season ticket application that you want to stand continuously and/or make a lot of noise.

2) The rest go on sale to the general public 48 hours before the game. They're available for purchase in-person only, at the stadium box office.

Ideally, you create an atmosphere where people are camping out for these tickets days in advance. People who watch games with their hands folded neatly in their laps don't camp out for tickets. Crazy melonfarmers do.

So now you've got all the loud, drunk, profane, stand-happy people together, so they don't have to be mixed in with the more genteel crowd. Better yet, they're in front of the genteel crowd, so when they throw beer cans, slices of pizza, snowballs, or severed limbs of opposing fans, they can't hit any nice people in the back of the head.

Hopefully, you could also get some separation behind the crazies, too, so the fans behind them can see over their heads, and also be spared some of the more ear-splitting profanities.

As with many of my proposals, I know this isn't realistic (this is why I've never been known for my excellent proposals). Those seats are generally quite expensive, and no team's going to give up that revenue. But I really think an organization could work around that by offering no amenities whatsoever to the standers (they're all bringing in their own flasks anyway), and jacking up the prices elsewhere while advertising "family-friendly" seats and protection from the evil standers.

You give people options. It's not "one size fits all" ticketing. If a fan won't go to the trouble of camping out for his ticket or buying the cheapest season ticket possible, I won't feel so bad if he or she gets admonished for excessive standing or cheering.

And I haven't even mentioned the best part, which is the real, tangible effect this could have on the outcome of a game. Crowd noise matters. And this way, you get your loudest fans closet to the field, where they can do the most damage. The right group of drunkards could have Rex Grossman crying before halftime.

Heading into the day, I would have thought that yet another voice being added to the cast of NBC's Football Night in America was just about the last thing the world needed, on the list between "another Incredible Hulk movie" and "higher crude oil prices."

But if it's Dan Patrick, and he and Keith Olbermann will attempt to re-ignite the burning flame of joy that lit up their SportsCenter broadcasts in the mid-90s, then I say hell yes, bring it on.

Now, this is not to say that I expect that Patrick and Olbermann will fall right back into their old routine and shine as brightly as they once did. Things were different back then. No one else was really making sports funny, ESPN had yet to become a 24-hour commercial for ESPN, and Patrick and Olbermann had about 4% of the ego they have now.

So it might not work. But it's worth taking the chance to find out if there's any of that chemistry left. What's the worst that could happen, the NBC set becomes a little too crowded? Goodness me, how would we ever deal with that?

According to the Fifth Down Blog at the New York Times, Bob Costas will remain on the show. What possible purpose he could still serve, I can't imagine. Of course, that doesn't stop NBC from keeping Jerome Bettis around, either.

Free Safety
Grady Sizemore

Grady is, as the baseball folks like to say, a five-tool player. That means he has power, speed, tremendous eyesight, a torque wrench and a belt sander. And he's a pretty good baseball player, too.

He's 6'2", 200, so I like his size at the free safety position. He's got the speed to cover a lot of ground against the pass, as many Major League centerfielders would. But Sizemore also plays with a fearlessness and disregard for his own body that most centerfielders don't, and he brings some size and power to the table, too.

I could see him, on one play chasing down a Plaxico Burress, and then hurling himself into the path of a stampeding Edgerrin James or Frank Gore the next. At the very least, I could see him making Shaun Alexander curl up into the fetal position and start yelling, "I'M DOWN! I'M DOWN!"

And should the Browns be fortunate enough to share him with the Indians, he'd also bring Grady's Ladies with him to Cleveland Browns Stadium, which would be a welcome addition, as they're just a little more camera friendly than the Dawg Pound.

Previously:
The Honorable Mentions
#11: Yao Ming
#10: Cristiano Ronaldo
#9: Dion Phaneuf

Tuesday:
Non-NFL athlete who would excel in the NFL, #7

You may remember last year's official NFL slogan, "Who Wants it More" (and there's no way you're ever forgetting it if you were in the Phoenix area for the Super Bowl). This year's official NFL theme is "Believe In Now."

Individual teams have their own slogans for each year, too. They'll use them to sell season tickets, coaches may use them as rallying points, and you might see them printed on t-shirt worn under pads.

The slogan the 2008 Lions have chosen: "Do You Believe in Now?"

That's superb. That might even be the work of Matt Millen himself. All I know is that whoever came up with it is a fountain of creativity. Anyone could have come up with "Believe in Now," but it took a genius to add "Do You" at the beginning and a question mark at the end.

And leave it to the Lions to take something the rest of the league uses as a command and turn it into a question. Every other team in the league an officially licensed "Believe in Now" t-shirt, and none of them end in the interrogative form. It's only the Lions who are unsure.

And for a look at how Lions fans are responding to the question, it's worth a visit to Lions blog Pride of Detroit.

There are two things Peter King is confident of:

1) Brett Favre, sometime in the next ten days, will officially request that he be removed from the NFL's retired/reserved list, and

2) The Packers would rather change the name of Lambeau Field to "Tony Mandarich Field" than see Brett Favre return.

They don't want him on their team (King used the phrases "makes the Packers wretch" and "desperately want Favre to stay retired"), and the only thing they might want less than that is to see him playing for the Vikings or Bears.

So if taking him back isn't an option, and giving him an outright release (which would likely lead to Favre being a Viking or a Bear) isn't an option, that leaves trade ... and best of luck walking the streets of Green Bay, Ted Thompson, if you end up being the guy who traded Brett Favre for a pack of gum.

There's still the option of telling Favre to stick it, and if they absolutely have to, welcoming Brett Favre back onto the team, but carrying him as a 3rd quarterback and making him play special teams. This is completely unrealistic, obviously, even though I think it would be fun.

King says the best bet might be for the Packers to try to talk Brett Favre out of unretiring, and given that that seems like a real longshot, it really illustrates just what a bind the Packers are in.

No matter what happens here, it's almost certainly going to end with the Packers being unhappy, or at the very least, upsetting their fanbase.

Wow. Outclassed by Greg Lloyd. That takes some doing.

But there's still a part of me that believes in the old Vince Lombardi saying, "You show me a good loser, and I'll show you a loser." Does behavior like this make Belichick a large bag of warm vinegar and water? Yes. But that attitude is not completely unrelated to other qualities that make him a great coach.

Well, now you can make that dream come true.

I suppose this qualifies as NFL-related, since one half of the Mikes played professional football. You can bring Mike Golic to your home, along with his co-host Mike Greenberg, to host an edition of Mike & Mike in the Morning live from your living room.

There are a couple of notes bidders should be aware of, though. From the auction description:

ESPN will make final decision on where to stage the show in ESPN's sole and absolute discretion, which decision shall be final.

I sort of thought they'd stage the show, you know, in your your home, since the title of the auction is "Mike & Mike in the Morning *LIVE FROM YOUR HOME*" and all. If they get to decide where to stage the show, I don't know what it is exactly that you're bidding on.

Also:

ESPN reserves the right to invite athletes, celebrities and other media to the show site and allow for photos, audio, video and/or interviews with the winning bidder and other guest(s) in attendance before, during or after the show.

Now, that sounds cool ... you're thinking, "Hey, maybe Donovan McNabb, Bill Parcells and Tony Danza will come to my house," and isn't that everyone's dream?

But understand, too, that you're also giving ESPN full authority to bring Pacman Jones into your home. If you belong to a homeowners association, they may not approve. And you may end up regretting the whole thing when he jumps into the shower with your wife and starts making it rain.

All proceeds benefit the V Foundation. Don't quit. Don't even quit.

Why? Because he does this:

And also because I think it would be funny to hear Terry Bradshaw say "Phaneuf."

At 6'3", 212, size is not an issue, and I think he's the kind of strong safety you'd want in the box quite a bit, making life miserable on running backs. And with Phaneuf out there, crossing routes by wide receivers might become a complete thing of the past.

The only problem is that Phaneuf might want to stay home and play for the Calgary Stampeders of the Canadian League. It is, after all, their league. He was born in the province of Alberta, plays professionally in Calgary, and probably could have been the best athlete on last year's 7-10-1 Stamps.

Previously:
The Honorable Mentions
#11: Yao Ming
#10: Cristiano Ronaldo

Monday:
Non-NFL athlete who would excel in the NFL, #8

1) You love Joe Flacco, and want to own every jersey he ever wears
2) You are Joe Flacco
3) You're looking for a jersey that at the same declares your love for Joe Flacco and also says, "DON'T TOUCH ME."

That's the purpose of the red jersey. Quarterbacks wear them in practice, so when a defensive player sees red, they know that they're not allowed to hit the guy.

And I think this could have practical applications in the bedroom. A woman can wear the red jersey to bed, sending a clear message that she's not to be touched. It would save the trouble of a clumsy advance and then a humiliating rejection. Of course, a man could wear the jersey for the same purpose, but let's be honest ... that's not a sentiment a man wishes to express quite as often.

I was fairly confident that I'd go my entire life without ever hearing anyone say, "I'd really love to have that guy's red practice jersey," and this is certainly the first time I've ever seen a red practice jersey for sale.

And they're asking $85 for it.

Naturally, this is the place where Buccaneers rookies Cory Boyd and Aqib Talib chose to brawl with each other.

Pro Football Talk is reporting that Talib, the Bucs' 1st-round pick, and Boyd, the Bucs 7th-round pick, had been exchanging words all day, and they finally got down to the fisticuffs in the "budgets and finance" meeting.

Fighting at the rookie symposium. That's superb. I know I'm probably supposed to be gnashing my teeth at the disrespectful nature of these young punks, but I just can't. It's too funny. I don't think it's sad at all ... I think it sounds like the most awesome budgets and finance meeting of all-time.

Of all the places to fight a dude, you pick the NFL's rookie symposium, where you're supposed to be learning to be a responsible adult. Brilliant. That's like going into a Narcotics Anonymous meeting, sitting down, tying off, and pumping some smack into your veins right there. Then everyone starts looking at you, and you look back and say, "What?"

Even Pacman Jones and Chris Henry made it through the rookie symposium without fighting anyone. This does not paint a bright picture for your futures, Boyd and Talib.

But would it really be so wrong if the Packers asked him to kindly shut his yapper?

I've never been one to tell a guy when he should retire. It's his body, it's his life, and he's got to do what's best for him. I've not walked in his cleats.

But when Brett Favre steadfastly refuses to say, "No, I'm not coming back," and we have incidents like we had yesterday, when Chris Mortensen set the whole world abuzz with his "Brett Favre feels itchy!" report, it doesn't just affect Brett Favre. It affects the entire Packers organization.

Again, I don't begrudge Brett Favre the right to change his mind, but he's not doing this in a vacuum. The Packers have an offense that they need to tailor to a new quarterback. They've got receivers who have to develop timing and a rapport with that new quarterback. And that quarterback is having a hard enough time as it is, without having the fans constantly ride the "Oh joyous day, Brett's coming back and I can be happy again, oh no, wait, we're still stuck with other dope" roller coaster.

These are real issues for the Packers, ones they probably started working on after Favre's overly sniffly press conference. These are things they have to deal with, and it doesn't get easier when Favre plays these games.

Now, I know, Favre said that everything that came out yesterday was "rumor," and that "there was no reason" for all the hubbub, but at the same time, he did absolutely nothing to squash what he labeled as rumor. All it would take is a simple, "No, I'm not coming back," but he can't make his mouth say the words. And not saying anything isn't much different than saying "maybe."

The Packers have to know about their future. Either it includes Brett Favre or it doesn't, and if it doesn't, they've got to move ahead with the new guy. They can't afford to be constantly jerked around by a guy -- even if he's a legend -- who can't make a decision.

They won't do it because it would alienate the Favreophiles in Green Bay, but the Packers would be perfectly justified in telling Favre that they've put him in the rearview. Tell him he won't be traded, he won't be released, and if he insists on coming back, he can't do anything but hold the clipboard for Aaron Rodgers.

They've got to know which way they're heading as an organization, and right now, Favre's indecisiveness is keeping them in limbo. If he can't make up his mind, they should make it up for him.