Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

Wednesday is the 25th anniversary of Feb. 10, 1985, which just so happens to be the date of Michael Jeffrey Jordan's first All-Star Game. For the first time since the day he was frozen-out, a reissue of that jersey will be ... reissued. This is great news for everyone, even people who don't like Michael Jordan.

Why is that, Trey? For a lot of reasons, Internet.

First and foremost, this is a historic jersey, no duh. It marks the first huge success of Jordan's illustrious career, and also one of the earliest slights that Jordan imagined and used to make himself the greatest player in the history of basketball. Pretty big deal.

Also, these jerseys are the best that the All-Star Game has ever seen. They're so good, in fact, that they could even serve as a reissue for Jordan's last All-Star Game, as an updated version with way bigger shorts was used for the 2003 contest. Certainly better than his 2002 effort, where Jordan missed a wide-open dunk wearing a Wizards jersey. These are the dark times that we don't talk about.

And for the haters, if you're really anti-Mike, you should love this jersey because it symbolizes a time when even the best basketball players in the world were hating on Michael Jordan. It's like a schadenfreude shirt, or maybe a shirt-enfreude.

But really, the best reason to buy this is because it's my birthday in 10 days and you weren't sure what to get me. Come on, it's only $250. I wear an XL.

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

This is my new favorite shirt of all-time, and frankly, I can't believe that I wasn't aware of its existence. And not only was I not aware of its existence, I had no idea that anybody called the holy triumvirate of Luc Longley, Bill Wennington and Will Perdue the "Bang Gang." Trust me, you would have heard about it if I did. I wonder if even Kelly Dwyer, he of the infinite basketball memory and excellent guitar chops, knows about this nickname. For it is the best nickname.

And this is the best shirt. My predilection for caricature shirts is well-documented, so to combine one of those with my favorite team, then add in my favorite position (awkward jump-shooting center) and, well, I'm just about ready to buy the controlling stock in eBay, just so I can call this shirt mine.

Yes, it's that good.

The seller knows what's up, introducing the auction with "Ladies and Gentlemen, you are bidding on perhaps the greatest Chicago Bulls shirt ever created. Perhaps the greatest vintage basketball shirt of all-time. One could even call it the greastest shirt of all time."

Yes, one could call it that, and one should call it that. Truly this shirt is worthy of that declaration.

Let the bidding war commence!

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

In a way, buying gear from I Love The Hype now is like getting in on UNDRCRWN back when they were getting in trouble for using fake Wheaties boxes as packaging. iLTHY is just that good. We're expecting big things. And because we love UNDRCRWN, we love I Love The Hype, no matter how awkward that sentence sounds. So without further ado, we glady present iLTHY's latest creation — a line of playoff-aimed t-shirts appropriate for any NBA fan. It's called the "No Bustas" collection.

Inspired by the 1984 cinematic masterpiece "Ghostbusters," the shirts are just anti-everything, so no matter what team you cheer for, they've got you covered. Kobe and his black mamba are targeted. Also in their sights are Michael Jordan, Mark Cuban and King James.

And since I Love The Hype is deeply tied to the Cleveland Cavaliers (remember their Delonte West shirts?), they even call out the idea of LeBron going to New York. Sorry, New York fans, that's the most love you're getting from I Love The Hype — they didn't even put your team on a shirt.

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

Who is your favorite Lithuanian basketball player? It's a question we must all face some day. There's really only one choice, and it's not Sarunas Jazzycabbages. No, no, the choice is quite clear — Arvydas Sabonis. Whether mustachioed or not, Arvydas is a legend both in and out of his home country of Lithuania.

And now that we're all amateur Lithuanian basketball historians, we can buy this most excellent of shirts to show our support for the team.

A re-issue of the Grateful Dead fan shirts from the 1992 Summer Olympics, this tie-dyed masterpiece will complete your collection of Lithuanian basketball treasures. It will look great next to your Darius Songaila bobblehead and Martynas Andriuskevicius rookie card.

Starting at $30 (buy more and you'll pay less per shirt), this is well worth the money. Unless, of course, you need something smaller than XL or XXL, in which case, I recommend you find a tailor.

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

We like UNDRCRWN around here. They make high-quality, basketball themed gear that isn't crazy expensive. As far as Phenomenal Swag goes, that's a pretty good place to land. Their latest promotion, if you can even call it that, is their "Assist Haiti" t-shirt. Of course, it's awesome.

In either blue or white, for just $20, you get a nice looking shirt. That alone is worth two and a half Muggsys. But here's the best part. All proceeds from the sales of this shirt go to the Yele Haiti, Wyclef Jean's (two times, two times) charity foundation. And from today until January 27th, 5% of all web sales will be donated as well.

Go buy this shirt. And then buy some other stuff over there. You'll be happy. You'll be helping. You'll be phenomenal.

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

Skeets is so good with dogs. I'm always telling him that he needs to get a dog to protect The Jones studio, but only if he could buy it from an NBA player, and preferably a pit bull. So thanks, Trail Blazers' forward Travis Outlaw, for making this a lot easier.

Through his website, T-Law25.com (possibly an R. Kelly reference), you can buy any of the eight pit bulls that Outlaw owns and raises. I'm partial to Tank, a smiley guy with a huge, floppy tongue. But maybe you'll be interested in Denim, Memphis or Rascal. Of course, choosing a dog named Rampage is asking for a destroyed couch.

Even though they're vanity priced between $1,500-$2,600, the dogs are going to go fast.

You already missed out on the puppy, so go now. Go.

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

I wonder about the day when Phenomenal Swag has to come to an end. It won't be because I don't want to do it anymore, because I'll hold on to this gig until they pry my computer from my cold, lifeless fingers. No, it'll be because a product comes to light that is so phenomenal, so swaggy that the further continuation of this column will be superfluous.

Is today that day?

Maybe.

Because of Michael Jordan Pogs.

Oh, Pogs. You mid-1990s game of excellence. Just reading your Wikipedia entry makes me wish for a simpler time. Slammers, "playing for keeps," and so many yin-yangs and eight balls. "Good times."

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

Remember grillz? You know, gold, silver, sometimes even platinum, teeth coverings. If you were rich, you bought custom fitted grillz. If you weren't, you had the kind that attach to your teeth by suction. If you were Paul Wall, you made a career out of being the white guy with grillz. Those were the days.

If you missed out on the first grillz explosion, and now you're seeing Lil Wayne and your thinking, "I only wish there was something basketball-related on my teeth," wait no longer. Sneaker Grillz.

That's right. Just when you thought regular grillz were the best things you could have, a company threw a basketball on some grillz, which is next level. I can't tell you for sure if you'll be able to close your lips around your teeth, but why would you even want to? That would completely defeat the purpose of having a basketball on your teeth.

And it's not just basketballs. It's a backboard or a guy shooting a finger-roll or if you're really crazy a pewter replica of Mike Bibby's worst tattoo. The choice is up to you.

At only $19.95 a piece, you don't want to miss out on Grillz 2.0.

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

Here's a suggestion if you ever need to draw up a blueprint for reassuring a fanbase that you aren't going to leave them after a season; look at what LeBron James has done, then do the exact opposite. You could, for instance, not have a special colorway designed in New York Knicks colors with "I [LION] NY" on the sole. Just sayin'.

These shoes, a sample that may never see retail shelves, feature not just the NYC shout-out, but also a LeBron-styled question mark on the insole. Cool move.

It was easy to write off the last blue and orange LeBron's as matching the Cavs' throwback unis, but these clearly aren't designed for the Cleveland fans. Unless they're in to the whole self-flaggelation thing, in which case the completely mediocre "Empire State of Mind" is probably their favorite song.

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Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

More from the pseudo-story that won't die.

To recap: Trey Kerby tells his dad the Bulls should draft Ron Artest. The Bulls actually do draft Artest. Artest probably drinks Hennessy at halftime of one game. Ten years later Ron Artest reveals that he drank Hennessy at halftime. Everyone says, "Yep, you're Ron Artest."

But if that's where you think it ends, you are wrong. Dead wrong.

Old school revivalist rap producer Statik Selektah has done a track for Boston-bred rapper Reks (big Horace Grant fan) called "Henny at Halftime" (click to play/download). It features Ron Artest rapping, and it's actually kind of nice.

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