Wed Jun 15 12:40pm EDT
Dallas Mavericks guard DeShawn Stevenson(notes) was arrested Wednesday morning for having a bit to drink to excess and wandering aimlessly. At someone's apartment complex. By himself. Yep. And anyone who didn't see this coming from DeShawn Stevenson, raise your hand. And if you didn't see this coming, go look at yourself in the mirror, because this is DeShawn Stevenson.
It's not like this is the guy with an Abraham Lincoln tattoo on his Adam 's apple, or the guy who was once arrested for plying a 14-year-old with brandy in a motel room. Or the guy who started a fight in Game 6 of the Finals on Sunday because players on the other team dared to act as boorishly as him. Or the guy that followed up a Finals win by wearing a T-shirt that was so tasteless and unfunny that we didn't want to post it on this site.
It's not like he's this guy (as originally reported on ESPNDallas.com):
Irving police said they were called to the Grand Venetian apartments about 10:30 p.m. local time Tuesday to check out a report of an intoxicated person walking in the area.
They found Stevenson, who does not live there, and he did not appear to know where he was. He was given a field sobriety test, and based on the test, his statements and police observations, he was arrested for public intoxication.
[Irving public information officer John Argumaniz said:] "Basically, he was intoxicated to a point where [police] didn't feel comfortable letting him walk away or leave. They didn't have any other options at that point."
Honestly, wandering around drunkenly is the least offensive of all the things I listed above, save for perhaps getting a tattoo of our 16th president. He wasn't attempting to get in a car or start a fight or light illegal fireworks or hit on a sandwich artist or even relieve himself on the Alamo.
That we know of, at least. It's DeShawn Stevenson. Let's not put anything past him.