Trey Kerby of The Blowtorch searches high and low across the Internet for NBA-related goods you never knew you needed. You know, phenomenal swag. Email Ball Don't Lie any relevant products you find here.

My mom collects Santa Claus figurines, and when I was little, she had a ton of Precious Moments. And she loves her son (me), who loves basketball. So basically, this Seattle SuperSonics figurine is the perfect gift this Christmas. Except for the whole terrifying creepy part. That might be a problem.

It's available on eBay right now for $32.99, and shipping is free. That's where the good things end, because wowsers. This thing. Eesh. I'm not sure that saying it's a SuperSonics-clad Santa Claus sneaking up to surprise a little Sonics fan with a basketball really conveys how weird this thing really is. Because it is very weird.

Why does the kid have his shoes off, but on the couch? Moms hate that. Why are both Santa and the kid Seattle fans? You'd think Santa would just be standard red-and-white, and since the kid is a basketball fan, he gets a basketball. Nope. And lastly, is this the most offensive thing you could buy for a fan of the former Seattle franchise? Here's the gift of basketball ... not.

Sorry, Mom.

Ball Don't Lie's Swag Rating: One pathetic Muggsy ...

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