In theory, All-Star matchups seem like a great idea. The best of the best versus the best of the best has to make for the best matchup ever, right? Wrong. All too often, All-Star games are dull affairs, as the players slog through yet another game while their teammates are off fishing or whatever. The fans want desperately to care, and yet every year, in every sport, you've got a better chance of seeing an athlete hatch an egg than play hard in an All-Star game.

That is, except when it comes to NASCAR. Every year, the races are some of the most competitive of the season. Where other All-Star games are an excuse for star power to bask in glory, for NASCAR, this weekend's All-Star race is a chance for the sport's best to get in the heads of their rivals ... and earn a cool million in the process. Don't believe me? Let's size up the competition.

NBA: The games are high-scoring affairs because all anybody does is the parade defense -- wave at 'em as they go by. Basically a glorified practice session, the only thing interesting in the NBA games is which star will get anointed as the MVP in the second quarter and spend the rest of the game burying buckets while his teammates feed him. Plus, the goofy uniforms can make even Michael Jordan look bad, and that's saying something.

Baseball: Probably one of the more competitive of the major sports, if only because it's not possible to go easy on your pitches unless you really want to look like an idiot (or groove one for the benefit of the crowd, as Chan Ho Park did in giving up a homer to Cal Ripken in his final All-Star game). Bud Selig let this game end in a tie back in 2002; in response, he made the asinine rule that ties home field in the World Series to an All-Star win. Ridiculous.

NHL: If the vast majority of the casual-viewing world watches NASCAR for the wrecks, they also watch hockey for the fights. And in All-Star games, there's precious little of that -- though there's plenty of scoring. The last three games have run 12-11, 8-7, and 12-9 -- which is, in football terms, the equivalent of about a 90-85 game. Oh, and hockey being hockey, they've decided not to hold the All-Star game in Olympic years. Which makes absolutely perfect sense as a way to continue to build your product.

NFL: The most popular sport in human history has a Pro Bowl that nobody watches. Nobody. Seriously, when's the last time you watched a Pro Bowl? If you can answer that, seek help immediately. Not even the players want to be at this one; they'll fake injuries left and right to avoid it. Troy Aikman once got fined for eating a hot dog on the sidelines at one. On the plus side, the scenery ain't bad.

NCAA football: The Senior Bowl is the last gasp for players who either didn't go to major schools or didn't get enough ink while there. Anybody you've ever heard of is dodging this one to avoid getting injured before the NFL draft, so what you're left with is the equivalent of a well-lit and well-dressed scrimmage, where a player from the team you love may be receiving a pass from a team you loathe. Divided loyalties, indeed.

NASCAR: In one sense, every weekend is an All-Star weekend for NASCAR, since every star shows up for every race. But this time around, there's nothing but stars -- perhaps it should be called the "Only-Stars Race" -- and there are no back-of-the-packers or start-and-parkers here. Plus, like baseball, you can't exactly slow down and take it easy in a given race; there'll be somebody there willing to run right over you. Finally, how does a cool million-dollar payday sound? Not "home-field advantage," not some MVP trophy, but cold hard cash.

Pride, talent and money. It's why NASCAR's race tonight is the best All-Star matchup, by a long shot. And there ain't no way it's ending in a tie.