Time for more Pit Chatter, the real story of what goes on with your favorite drivers behind the scenes. Today, we dig deep into the 14 car ... 

[Scene: Martinsville. Tony Stewart is struggling in fifth place as Jimmie Johnson continues to pile up the laps.]

Tony Stewart: Man, we just cannot catch a break here!

Darian Grubb (on radio): I know, Tony. It's been a good year, but Jimmie's just too tough.

Tony Stewart: I suppose you're right. Well, time to pack it in. Good year, boys.

Darian Grubb: You too, ToKKSSSSHHHHH

Tony Stewart: Darian? Hello? Not another radio problem ...

Voice: Hello, Tony.

Tony Stewart: Wha - who is this? What are you doing on my radio?

Voice: You know very well who this is, Tony.

Tony Stewart: Is this the Burger King? I told you, King, I have a strict limit of seven Whoppers in a sitting ...

Voice: This isn't the King, Tony. Think.

Tony Stewart: ...oh, no. Is this -- ?

Voice: It is. I'm back.

Tony Stewart (whispering): Evil Tony?

Evil Tony: Evil Tony.

Good Tony: But ... but what are you doing here, Evil Tony? We'd been doing so well ...

Evil Tony: Oh, sure, you'd been doing so well ... in the regular season, when nobody cares about the standings. But in the Chase, you've got to get plumb mad-dog mean ... and Tony, you've been lap-dog nice.

Good Tony: That's a little harsh.

Evil Tony: My name isn't I-Won't-Hurt-Your-Feelings Tony.

Good Tony: Point. But everybody's liking me! I'm having fun!

Evil Tony: Fun? This isn't about fun! This is about winning, winning and then winning some more! Look at the clowns you hung with in those silly commercials - losers, all of ‘em!

Good Tony: Well, I'll give you Carrot Top, but Erik Estrada is kind of a winner in an ironic sense, ri-

Evil Tony: Loo. Zer.

Good Tony: Okay, so what do you propose, smart guy?

Evil Tony: Glad you asked. Just sit back and let me handle things.

Good Tony: I'm not so sure that's a good idea ... people like being around me a lot more now.

Evil Tony: Fair enough. Then let's start by doing something mean AND keeping everyone on your side:

Evil Tony: Ha! Seeya, Kyle!

Good Tony: That was ... that was fun!

Evil Tony: It was, wasn't it?

Good Tony: This is AWESOME! Who's next?

Evil Tony: What say we keep it in the family?

Good Tony: Yeah! YEAH! This RULES!

Evil Tony: Excellent.

[The race ends, and while Jimmie Johnson wins, Tony has worked his way up to third place behind Jeff Gordon.]

Good Tony: Aren't we running out of time for the Chase?

Evil Tony: There's always time for the Chase, Tony. Observe. There's Jeff Gordon right there. Now, do exactly as I say:

[Tony retreats to his hauler, giggling maniacally.]

Good Tony: All right all right all RIGHT! We are rolling now! So how do we take down Johnson?

Evil Tony: Just you wait, Tony, just you wait ...

[Two haulers away, Jimmie Johnson sits in complete darkness, head down, as if unplugged. Then his head snaps up as if hearing something. And in the blackness, his eyes glow a deep red ... ]

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