Hockey arena too loud; Gillis on Sedin extensions; Bobby Farrelly cutting hockey promos (Puck Headlines)

Here are your Puck Headlines: a glorious collection of news and views collected from the greatest blogosphere in sports and the few, the proud, the mainstream hockey media.

• Semyon Varlamov. Is. Duff-Man! Oh yeah!

• In keeping with tradition because hockey players are boring, the Bruins do their best to diminish the hype ahead of their grudge match with the Penguins. [CSNNE]

• Mike Gillis on what's holding up extensions with the Sedins: "We’re trying to figure out what the cap is going to be next year and the upcoming years and really that’s the key. Those guys have been fantastic people, No. 1, for this organization. They’ve been great players and it’s really a function of how you allocate money in a cap system and we’re just trying to ensure we do the right thing for the entire organization and for Daniel and Henrik.” [Vancouver Sun]

• The Soo Greyhounds are getting complaints from people that the atmosphere inside their arena is too raucous. It's too loud! People can't hear themselves talking to their friends during the game! It's a nightmare. [Buzzing the Net]

• Bobby Farrelly has been tapped by NBCSN to do a new series of promos for a game between the Rangers and the Bruins. Fingers crossed these promos feature sexual gross-out humor. [Variety]

• Jason Chimera is streaking, and defending the honor of dump and chase hockey in the process. [Japers' Rink]

• The Chicago Blackhawks hit the White House on Monday. [DNA Info]

• The Grand Rapids Griffins unveil the hat trick eating challenge: three jumbo hot dogs, a three-patty burger and fries. "The Hat Trick will sell for $20, and whoever can eat the whole thing in 20 sure-to-be-memorable minutes will win a T-shirt and the personal satisfaction of 'having consumed an unthinkable number of calories to fuel them as they cheer on the Griffins.'" [GRBJ]

• The idea of teams paying for their players' transgressions is picking up steam. [CBC]

• Justin Bourne gives a player's perspective on the zone entries stat, which is becoming more widely-used. [Backhand Shelf]

• This is great: now that Phil Kessel is objectively awesome, here's a database featuring notable quotes from columnists that have ripped him since he arrived. [Leafs Nation]

• Should Matt Dumba stay or should he go? [First Round Bust]

• The Jack Edwards call of the week has him jumping for joy over David Krejci's last-second game-winner. Not literally jumping for joy, although he's done that before. [Bruins Daily]

• John Tortorella has moved Ryan Kesler to the wing. Here are some of his other outside-the-box ideas. [Pass It to Bulis]

• Enjoy some rare audio of JFK complaining about the U.S. Olympic team. [Deadspin]

• Sergei Fedorov has been added to the Red Wings' alumni game roster at the Winter Classic. [Red Wings]

• Why are the Florida Panthers bad? Lots of reasons. [Panther Parkway]

• Dallas Eakins says the Oilers were "out-finished" by the Maple Leafs. [Oilers Nation]

• Alex Ovechkin misses Capitals practice with an upper-body injury. [CSN Washington]

• Ray Whitney interview bombs Tyler Seguin.