Rasheed's never done coaching. (Steve Mitchell-USA TODAY Sports)
"I'm trying to tell you, man: You need to keep your shower shoes clean. When stuff gets damp, stuff gets nasty, and it happens fast. Back in like '95, '96, I seen how bad Jim McIlvaine had it. Changed my life, man. Gotta keep 'em clean, man. GOT TO."
"... Sheed, you realize I'm a 27-year-old man, right?"
"See, that's that smart mouth but that dumb talk. I'm trying to school you, rook. You better listen up."
"Um, I've been in the NBA for nine years."
"I thought this was your first year from Argentina."
"... Wait, do you think I'm Pablo Prigioni?"
"Do you think you're not?"
"Yes, I do think that, but also, even if I was, Pablo's like a million years old. He knows how to take care of his feet. None of this makes any sense."
"Hell, neither does the fact that we're 14-4 and have beaten the Heat by 20 points twice. Why not just go with it?"
"Good point. Quiero saber más sobre las cremas de hongos, por favor."
Best caption wins a lifetime supply of tough-actin' Tinactin (not really). Good luck.
In our last adventure: Those anti-gravity pills really seem to be messing with Eric Bledsoe.
Eric Bledsoe's gotten really good at capoeira. (Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)Winner, Avi Goldstein: The Force is strong in Darren Collison.
Runner-up, Deviljinttt : "PARKOUR!!"
NOTE: I think we can all agree that Eric Bledsoe's size, speed, leaping ability and musculature would likely make him excellent at free running. Clippers fans would probably prefer he didn't give it a shot, though.
Second runner-up (TIE!), Jj: After minor contact with Darren Collison, Eric Bledsoe gets called for an extreme flop.
Second runner-up (TIE!), Tiko: Photographer: "Eric, pose for the camera."
Bledsoe: "... Hold on, let me get on my good side."