Any Yankees fans out there who sat through the eighth inning Thursday night and intend on returning to Camden Yards for Game 2 of the Orioles series on Friday had better watch out: The Baltimore Sun has published a list of activities Orioles fans might use to heckle New Yorkers as they attempt to enjoy Charm City. With the O's in first place this late in the season for the first time in forever, the local fans might be out of practice, after all.
Sam Sessa's list claims to offer ideas for "good, clean fun without getting kicked out of Camden Yards," but the Sun paper's reporter doesn't say anything about getting punched in the face. And I'm not sure he's giving New Yorkers enough credit, either.
Here's a sample of his suggestions, followed with the Stew's commentary.
• 'Accidentally' spilling popcorn on them: Oh, sure. Someone's going to change "popcorn" to "beer" and ushers will have a Pier 6-level brawl on their hands by the bottom of the second inning.
• 'Disorient them' by instructing them to get on the wrong train: C'mon. We're talking about Subway savvy New Yorkers here, people who could navigate the Mekong Delta after years of training in New York's rapid transit system.
• 'Borrow money from them.' This one is funny: "Yankees fans are notoriously wealthy, and enjoy coming to Baltimore, where things are cheaper than in New York," Sessa writes. The second part of that is definitely true, but if Yankees fans were so replete with cash, why are those expensive seats behind home plate in the Bronx never filled?
• 'Remind them Babe Ruth is from Baltimore.' Clever, though the Yankees fan is sure to point out that Ruth's family outhouse used to sit behind second base at Camden Yards. Is Baltimore really so proud of that?
It's a nice list, particularly the suggestion to get Carne Cabeza — that masked Orioles fan in wrestling tights — to give Yankees fans a free hug. Such a moment definitely would make any Yankees fan uncomfortable, even if he or she is from a borough where that kind of stuff might happen all the time.