Best description of an OHL dive ever: ‘Hooey has apparently been shot’

At the end of the first period on Sunday, Barrie Colts wing Garrett Hooey went down rather easily after a tap on the back of his leg from the Sudbury Wolves' Connor Crisp.

It was a very transparent sell job that Eastlink TV commentator Stew Kernan wryly pointed out — "Hooey has apparently been shot." The referees, though, gave Crisp a slashing penalty. The ensuing replay than become Sudbury's equivalent to the Zapruder film, with "falling back, falling back, falling back," replacing "back... and to the left... back... and to the left." Many community television broadcasts at the Ontario Hockey League level might only show one replay of a goal. Footage of the 6-foot-1, 195-pound Hooey toppling over — keeping in mind players do this if they believe a call was missed earlier — was replayed four times. What's even more awesome is that the commentary from the analyst, Gary Beech, got even more animated, in the absolute best, tell-us-how-you-really-feel, unvarnished way.

The best bits:

"What a brutal, brutal call and he milked that thing like he was a farmer on an early Sunday morning. I tell you, that was absolutely brutal. You watch, number 25, he'll be skating like the wind at the start of the second period."

Milked that thing like he was a farmer on an early Sunday morning. You will never hear that on Hockey Night In Canada, and that's meant as a compliment.

Then, when the dive was replayed at the start of the second period:

"'Oh wait a second, that's my leg, there I go, down.' I don't know if he's going to be able to walk again, based on that ... He's risen. He's like a phoenix, for goodness' sake."

They could have let it go and talked about some other storyline, but that would have been boring.

On the whole, the commentary teams on local broadcasts in the OHL do a bang-up job and excellent conduits for info about the teams. Beech deserves a stick tap for being entertaining; one would hope neither the Colts nor the OHL, who are in the business of entertainment, take offence. Plots need villains. There might have been some Jack Edwards-esque homerism sprinkled in but an analyst represents fans at home. Most would have greed that call was soft. Crisp is 6-foot-4 and 225 pounds, but as his momentum was taking him away from Hooey, so it's not like he could do much damage.

All's fair in love and hockey. The Wolves recovered to win the game 4-2.

Neate Sager is a writer for Yahoo! Canada Sports. Follow him on Twitter @neatebuzzthenet.