Is that it? Show's over? But there wasn't a single streaker sighted.
Also, I Can't believe we went through the entire two weeks without seeing some interloper sitting in the divers' hot tub. You know, the one right next to the platforms, where the competitors would dip right after their dive, in order to stay warm. I was certain that, at some point, as the cameras panned over there, we'd see 43 year old Karl, the insurance adjuster from Madison, Wisconsin, just hanging out in there with a quart of malt liquor in his hand.
By the way, International Olympic Committee, you might not need to install expensive hot tubs at these competitions if you provided divers with actual towels, as opposed to the ShamWows I saw them struggling with.
[Related: Expect a spectacular Closing Ceremony]
We've made it. We've run the gauntlet of Charlie Sheen promos, weepy Olympic sponsor mom ads and what I believe is a record number of William and Harry reaction shots.
I have it on good authority that the CTV crew will be ending their broadcast run with a group hug and a comical mass shuffling out the studio door, while they sing "It's a long way to Tipperary." Then, a wistful James Duthie returns, looks around with a bittersweet expression on his face and flicks off the lights.
Either that, or Brian Williams gets hit in the head with a golf ball, but then wakes up in bed next to Suzanne Pleshette. Who am I kidding? It'll be another "I Believe" montage.
A few little odds and ends before the closing ceremony plies us with Monty Python musical numbers and, hopefully, not a single Coronation Street reference. Here's what's coming up on "Day August 12th:"
Speaking of coronation, do we see one for American basketball, once again? The U.S. men's team goes up against Spain and, really, most expect the likes of LeBron and Kobe to be sporting gold medals when it's done. But, there's NBA experience on that Spanish roster with the likes of Jose Calderon and Pau Gasol and they are ranked number two in the world. Some can see how this ends up in an upset. 10 am ET, CTV.
[Video: Team USA ready for Spain]
The men's marathon starts at 6 am ET, on TSN, with three Canadians entered. I may just watch that while I'm flat on my back on the couch, flipping Timbits into my mouth for the entire two and a half hours. That's a marathon where I come from. Oh, by the way, yes I do know that a marathon takes only two hours. I will remain on the couch for another 30 minutes because that's how committed I am.
If I'm reading the schedule correctly, it appears that the final medals doled out at the London games will be in women's modern pentathlon. If you missed my impassioned defence of an event that combines fencing, horse jumping, swimming, laser shooting and running, click here. Then watch Canada's Donna Vakalis fire a laser on the run in a spectacular end to the games.
At 2 pm ET, CTV presents a two hour look back on the games. Hope it comes complete with a 5 minute recap, recapping the two hour recap, right at the end.
Then, the showstopper. Literally. It all ends with the closing ceremony, beginning at 4 pm ET. We are promised a "mashed up symphony" of British music with reported appearances by The Who, George Michael and Annie Lennox. Throw in Bono and I'd swear Bob Geldof put this thing together. Apparently there's some giddiness afoot, what with strong rumours that the Spice Girls will be reuniting for an appearance. Well, if you're going to "mash up" things, may I suggest the Girls do "Baba O'Riley" and The Who does "Wannabe?" Right. That's not so much mashed up as it is F'd up.
There will also be a nod to Brazil, the host of the 2016 games. Cool! Duran Duran doing "Rio?"
Whatever happens, whenever it happens, make sure you're with the Yahoo! Sports liveblog of the closing ceremonies, beginning at 3:45 pm ET. See you there.
Excellent. The London Olympics are almost over. Loved it, just loved it. But, can I have the Daily Show and Colbert Report back, now, CTV?
More London Olympics coverage on Yahoo! Canada Sports:
• Usain Bolt denied by Olympic officials
• Photos: Blood, sweat and tears at the Olympics
• Catharine Pendrel's disappointing day in London
• Video: More money could equal more gold for Canada