Canadian Paralympic skier Margarita Gorbounova pushes on, 3 months after losing best friend to cancer

Margarita Gorbounova had her medal around her neck when she set out for Sochi. Inscribed on it are two words that mean the world for the second-time Paralympian.

Not “Sochi 2014,” but the words "Tanya" and "Cherish" on a necklace that the visually impaired Nordic skier wears in memory of her sister-in-law by marriage and sister for all other intents and purposes. Tanya Martin, whose spirit belied her endless health challenges — "life was a battle for her," says Cliff Martin, Tanya’s brother and Margarita’s husband — died Dec. 4, five months after cancer was discovered in her esophagus.

There are all the minutely detailed training programs for the Games. There is no how-to for juggling being 'all in' while your best friend — who is only 35 years old, whose wedding you wanted to plan since she saved the day so many times while planning your big day three years ago — clings to life. Gorbounova's recourse has been to push on as much as realistically possible. Grief cannot be jammed into a sports metaphor.

"When she was sick, I often thought about it — it was so hard to manage my training," Gorbounova, a part-time skier and federal government French-English translator who is due to represent Canada in three cross-country races and one biathlon event, said prior to leaving for Sochi. "In an Olympic year, you can’t just half-ass it — it is 'I have to do this training. It has to be exactly as planned.' Then there is this whole, 'Tanya is sick and I want to go visit her.'

"It was a struggle for sure, that part,” added the 29-year-old, who was born with cataracts and has only about 10 per cent of her vision. "I think a few times for sure I thought about whether I should just quit and be there with her. But you always think that she wouldn't want me to do that — she would want me to keep going."

'If there are angels on earth'

Tanya Martin never left anyone feeling cold, or unappreciated. Both she and Cliff, who grew up outside of Bath, Ont., a village of 1,100 west of Kingston, were each born with scarring on their corneas that caused visual impairment as well as chronic mucocutaneous candidiasis (CMC), an immune disorder affecting the T cells.

"It affected her more than it affected me," says Cliff Martin, 32, an avid goalball player and runner.

For her parents Christine and Wayne, large extended family, church community and neighbours, Tanya's way of putting others first made them see beyond her crosses to bear.

"When you got a card from her, where most people would just write their name, she would write paragraphs about what the person meant to her," said Gorbounova, who was born in St. Petersburg, Russia and moved to Canada in 1999 with her parents. "She just wanted them to know what she thought of them. I would be amazed. Like nobody would ever think of doing that."

"She was probably the most generous and caring person that I've ever met," Cliff Martin added. "Going through her computer afterward, everything on her computer was about family.

"If there are angels on earth, she is one."

Tanya poured her energy into arts and crafts, whether it was drawing, sketching, writing short stories or hosting Pampered Chef cooking demonstrations. Her response to alopecia causing her hair to fall out was amassing a rotation of wigs, ranging from blonde to brunette to auburn. Her mother is trying to find cancer patients to take each wig, as a way of keeping alive Tanya’s spirit.

The two women, as Gorbounova recalls, connected even though she "was all ladylike and girly and I was really sporty." By the time Margarita and Cliff got married in August 2010 with Tanya as maid of honour, the running joke was "they've always felt like they were sisters and they're just making it official."

Three years later, after her diagnosis, Tanya's outward focus never changed even as she shuffled in and out of hospital, in pain and often unable to eat solid food.

"When we’d to go to visit, we’d ask how she was doing and then she would answer but right away she’d start asking how we were, mostly with me and my dad," Cliff said.

Tanya’s funeral on Dec. 10 filled the church in the village of Yarker to overflowing. Gorbounova, understandably, says that month was "pretty much a write-off" in preparing for the Paralympics. Yet there was a promise to keep to herself.

Take it to the limit

Gorbounova is a second-generation Paralympian, whose parents are also blind. Her mother, Olga Nazarenko, won a gold medal for the Unified Team in Nordic skiing at the 1992 Games in Tignes-Albertville, France. Her father Mikhail Gorbounov, a massage therapist, is a former European champion runner who has completed 25 marathons.

Yet their daughter resisted becoming an athlete — "I had my teenage rebellious phase" — until her early 20s, when she joined her mother at a qualifier in British Columbia for the 2006 Canadian team. Soon thereafter, Gorbounova attended a camp in Norway organized by the International Paralympic Committee.

"I was told a lot of people do it to see where they can take themselves, how far they can push themselves, to see what their limits are. I thought that is not a bad reason to do it. That’s why I decided to try for 2010.

"It's really all about you, your own personal achievement."

Four years after sucking wind and thinking “when is this gonna end” during that qualifier in B.C., Gorbounova finished seventh in a 15-km classic race during the 2010 Vancouver-Whistler Paralympics. Many of her teammates opted not to commit for another quadrennial. Since “it seemed like I didn’t do enough yet,” she teamed up with a new guide, Andrea Bundon, and pressed ahead.

Last March, Gorbounova had three top 10 finishes during a World Cup meet in Sochi. The University of Ottawa graduate is realistic about her prospects at the Games while "competing against full-time athletes."

Yet she is pondering handling double duty for Canada. Her first event is slated to be a six-km biathlon race on Saturday. (For anyone wondering how that works, racers are guided to spots on the shooting range and aim a digital rifle-like device while guided by beeps that intensify as the competitor hones in on the target.) Gorbounova also hopes to race in five-km sprint and freestyle races, and the 15-km classic set for Monday.

Accepting a loved one has left this life cannot be done at once. For months, one can still have the reflex to think the dearly departed is still alive. But having her sights on Sochi has helped Gorbounova.

"I was so busy traveling that I've sort of been able to keep having to think about Tanya at bay," Gorbounova said during her final week in Ottawa before setting off for Sochi. "I'm gone for training or to compete and I come back and I'm gone and I come back. I've been here for a week now and I can't shake it."

Over the next few days, Gorbounova's family and friends will do the best they can to follow her progress at the Games. Gorbounova has her necklace in Tanya Martin's memory. Her mother-in-law Christine and Tanya's aunt and cousin, Brenda Scott and Renee Dick, each have the same one. All will be united as family, as Margarita's fans, and in memory of Tanya.

"I know Tanya would have wanted me to do it," Gorbounova says. "I have my necklace and she'll be cheering for me from up there."

Neate Sager is a writer for Yahoo! Canada Sports. Follow him on Twitter @neatebuzzthenet.