Cristiano finds no solace in the violent embrace of Pepe. (Getty)

Cristiano Ronaldo did not celebrate either of his first two goals of the season in Real Madrid's 3-0 win against Granada (video of the first here). After the match he made it clear that he did this with purpose, but he also left a bit of mystery about it all as he refrained from getting too specific.

From Sky Sports:

Speaking to reporters after the match, Ronaldo explained he was feeling down and that it was due to a 'professional' rather than 'personal' issue.

"I don't celebrate goals when I am feeling sad and that's the case today," said Ronaldo.

"The people who work here know why and I won't say any more than that."

Guillem Balague and AS later reported that Ronaldo told Real Madrid president Florentino Perez that he wants to leave the club even though his contract runs until 2015. AS also claimed that Ronaldo cited trouble in the dressing room with his teammates as a reason for his displeasure. But what could be the problem? Here are several possibilities...

Cristiano Ronaldo scored his first two goals of the new season in Real Madrid's 3-0 win against Granada. His first of the day was one that Granada keeper Tono might find difficult to forget.

In the 26th minute, Ronaldo received a pass in the box as he made a run towards the endline, giving him a difficult angle for a shot. But as we should know by now, this does not stop Cristiano, so he took the shot anyway and found a gaping hole between the goalkeeper's legs that the ball was able to pass through on its way into the net.

Perhaps rejuvenated by winning the MLS Cup last season and making frequent trips back to England to visit the royals and serve as an Olympic mascot throughout this season, David Beckham is enjoying a very productive year. He now has seven goals on the season (his previous best was five in 2008, his first full season in the league) after scoring with a typically perfect free kick in a 2-0 win against Vancouver on Saturday.

Beckham now has five goals in his last eight league matches (plus a goal directly from a corner kick in the CONCACAF Champions League) -- an unusual run from a guy not expected to score that often, especially a 37-year-old guy not expect to score that often. Still, it's been a welcomed bonus for the LA Galaxy as they make a push for the playoffs.

At this rate it's starting to look like age will ravage his underpants modeling career before his playing career.

Previous Beckham goals: A blast from distance and a free kick, a blast from distance, a  free kick, and...a

Chelsea loaned out of favor midfielder Michael Essien to Real Madrid, reuniting him with the man who originally signed him for Chelsea in 2005, Jose Mourinho. Though the deadline-day move came as a surprise even to Essien himself, it was a welcomed one since he describes Mourinho as being "like a father" to him. And he proved just how much he means this by repeatedly calling his manager "daddy" during his press conference.

From Reuters:

"Daddy (Mourinho) knows me very well, he brought me to Chelsea, and he knows I can play in any position he wants - except goalkeeper." [...]

"Everything went very fast and I was in my hotel room and I had a call from my daddy and he said he would be very happy to have me at the club," he said.

"I never thought I would end up here. I was focused on Chelsea and I didn't know that Real Madrid would make a bid for me.

"When Mourinho calls it's more than enough. All I want to do is play football and when he rang me I said yes immediately.

"When I arrived he was at the airport. We were really happy to see each other and I am really looking forward to starting playing and enjoying the football."

And as you can see in the video above, he kept calling Mourinho his daddy with the glee of someone getting paid to do so.

It's things like this that should clear up why Chelsea players have been so resistant to many of the managers that have passed through in Mourinho's wake. Between making them believe he is their father and praising them in the shower, Mourinho really put an indelible mind-meld on them.

Anyway, while Essien talked him up, daddy was off in Manchester scouting Real Madrid's Champions League group stage opponents and having a miserable time while fans tried to take his picture...

Radamel Falcao picked up where he left off in the Europa League last season to win and won the UEFA Super Cup for Atletico Madrid, scoring a first-half hat trick in their 4-1 win over Chelsea. It was an abysmal performance from the Champions League winners, but Falcao -- who has led the Europa League in scoring the last two seasons in a row -- once again showed that he can beat any team all by himself.

After the match, Ashley Cole was honest about what had happened. He said on Twitter:

Wellll that was a lesson, absolute joke no fight, desire, passion, and a big reality check!!!!!! #sorrycfcfans

As nice as taking the Super Cup is for Atletico, the real win on the day was the fact that Roman Abramovich didn't buy Falcao before the transfer window shut. Of course, there's always January.

Clint Dempsey holds up his new shirt. (@SpursOfficial)

It took until the last minute, but Clint Dempsey finally got the move away from Fulham that he desperately wanted. Though he had his heart set on Liverpool, a breakdown in communication between them and Fulham combined with a weak deadline day offer of £3 million (£7 million less than what Fulham originally wanted and half of what Spurs ended up paying) prevented that from happening.

But Spurs came in for Dempsey in his time of need and got a deal done in the final hour of the window. Needless to say, Clint is happy. From Tottenham's official website (video version here):

"To play under this Head Coach and play for this club is a dream come true. I want to make the most of it and work as hard as I can to get onto the field and do well. [...]

On his departure from Fulham, Clint added: "A lot was said and written ahead of me leaving Fulham. It wasn't how it was portrayed, but that's in the past now and we move on.

"I want to thank the fans for everything, some of the best memories I've

Aurelio De Laurentiis and Edinson Cavani in 2010. (SSCNapoli.it)

Napoli owner and producer of awful movies Aurelio De Laurentiis has a history of conducting press conferences the odd way he goes about the rest of his existence. Last year, he unveiled Gokhan Inler to the press by having the player wear a lion mask. And now, on the final day of the summer transfer window, he decided to have a bit more fun with the media in a press conference about Edinson Cavani's future.

There have been rumors for months that Cavani would move to another club and Napoli fans have been nervous that the man who has scored an astonishing 49 goals in 68 Serie A appearances for the club would leave just before the deadline. So, ever the entertainer, De Laurentiis had a little fun with the tension. From the PA:

The new deal was announced at an elaborate press conference at which the Napoli president Aurelio De Laurentiis, a film producer, announced sombrely: "Sometimes, marriages come to an end. Unfortunately, Edi wants to go to England, to the cold city of Manchester.

Since England didn't appreciate how brilliant he thinks he is, 24-year-old Nicklas Bendtner has moved from Arsenal to Juventus on a season-long loan. The Serie A champions apparently met his "three demands" of any club interested in procuring his services and now he's wearing a turtleneck and trying to play down his scientifically-proven superhuman self-confidence in order to make a good first impression.

Not only does he hail Juve legend Michael Laudrup as the best Danish player ever (instead of himself), but he also says he hopes to show "good play" while also trying to "still be humble." Which is something the Euro 12 underpants advertiser and pizzeria threatener hasn't really been known for to this point.

And just in case you think Bendtner is really trying to turn over a new leaf with his new club, it's been reported that he has already asked for the No. 10 shirt recently vacated by Mr. Juve, Alessandro Del Piero (who just signed for Sydney FC). Juve apparently turned down his request. Also, he did show up dressed like a Alan Partridge.